I originally started up this blog while I was living overseas, so that I could share what was happening with people at home without having to write individual emails... And that was good. When I got home it just sort of kept going as I shared things I was learning and doing and trying in life...
But now, I think that this season is coming to a close and I won't be making any more posts, at least for now.
There were two things that have led to this happening as far as I can see...
One was a comment that my pastor said during a message she spoke, she said "stop talking and start marching" The context was of the Israelite army coming against Jericho when they marched in silence around the walled city.
But those words resonated in me in a different context, making me think about how I talk a lot about how I want to live and what that might look like and share photos and stories... and I don't lie, I do try to live those things out. But maybe now I need to stop talking altogether and just march.
The other thing is this growing understanding that God is moving me into a place of allowing Him to do things in me, bring growth and change. Of breaking down the things I have always thought and building up new ways of seeing the world. A time of focusing and investing in the relationships I have in a very real, vulnerable and intentional way.
In the past I have been someone who as soon as I was given a small amount of growth, or the start of an idea or a new friendship, I jumped right in head first, I would try to make growth happen really fast and for it to look awesome. I wanted things to be rounded off and well articulated, but now I'm realising that you can't have life like that. It's always going to be unfinished and still have sharp edges and be kind of uncoordinated.
But I think maybe I'm starting to be okay about this.
So for now, I want to learn this stuff and let it happen and be changed and not have to talk about it. I want for my understanding and expressing of this stuff to happen in real time, over coffee or late at night or when walking to class. (Actually, thanks to my friend Abby, a lot of amazing conversation and fresh revelations happen on this 2 km walk)
I want to start enjoying the journey for what it is, not just as a way to get to the end product.
For those of you who have faithfully read what I write and have encouraged me in this, thank you for your words. I still want to share what is happening in me and explore possibilities of what life could be like, but I'm moving it off the screen and into real life, into your lounge over a shared dinner maybe.
So for now, grace and peace.
Liesh
Tuesday, 4 November 2014
Sunday, 5 October 2014
What happens if Jesus actually meant what He said?
This blog post is coming from a place of messiness, like a garden that had the soil all turned up and there is dirt everywhere and its overflowing the boundaries. I'm writing, not from a place of experience at all, but a place of longing, of desire for something more.
I've read the stories of Jesus and His disciples my whole life.
But in these past few weeks I'm reading the gospels like its all new and its messing me up.
I read about Jesus healing people and loving them and restoring them and bringing hope and life and transformation and about how He said to do the same things and even greater than Him. I read His teachings on humility and gentleness and about loving the poor and giving what you own to those who have nothing. About loving your enemies and about caring for your neighbour the same as yourself. About sharing and selling and eating together and poverty and hospitality and generosity... and for maybe the first time in my life, I'm realising that Jesus meant what he said.
It wasn't symbolic or meant for the disciples only or for an elite group of believers.
This is meant for everybody.
And when I believe this I can no longer be okay with my life.
I tried to go to sleep last night but I ended up on my knees long past midnight crying to Jesus because there is this tension beating in my heart, a holy dissatisfaction with my individualistic, sheltered life of consumption. It's time to be teachable, willing and interruptible.
Things are going to change.
For the past couple of years there has been two themes that God keeps resurfacing in my life. Authentic community and radical simplicity.
And now I'm going to take those two themes and marry them with the beautiful mess that comes with believing the gospel might actually be for real and jump head first and eyes closed into a life experiment in both of them.
I don't know what this will look like and I'll probably make some choices that my family and most of my friends will disapprove of, label as extreme or will pass off as being "just a phase she's going through".
That's okay.
I get it. I probably would have said those same things to myself a little while ago...
Why do I want to throw myself into this messy embrace of community and simplicity?
Month 1= Minimising my possessions
Month 2 = Eating like the rest of the world
Month 3 = Talking to Strangers
Month 4 = Quitting cyber communication and practicing it in real time
Month 5 = Serving the Dunedin community
Month 6 = Knowing my neighbours
Month 7 = Intentionally creating quality time
I don't know what it will look like... I have no expectations really. I know it will be hard sometimes and beautiful other times and sometimes both at once. I am hopeful and willing to re learn everything I thought I knew about these subjects, I want to approach all of this with a teachable, humble heart and I know that God will be gentle with me, because He always is.
All I know is that there's been underground work going on in me for sometime, and now it has all come together in a holy mess and I am unwilling to continue to live in agreement to this culture of consumption. We consume resources, food, time, space and each other with a violence that cannot continue... I have no idea what this will be like, but it starts today.
At the end of this month I will write a post about what I learned and felt and achieved through this experiment of giving away my possessions. If anybody reads this and is also feeling the same tension in their own life and wants to embark on this journey with me... I would love more than anything to not be doing this by myself. Because if I'm honest with you, I'm scared.
Lord, let it begin.
I've read the stories of Jesus and His disciples my whole life.
But in these past few weeks I'm reading the gospels like its all new and its messing me up.
I read about Jesus healing people and loving them and restoring them and bringing hope and life and transformation and about how He said to do the same things and even greater than Him. I read His teachings on humility and gentleness and about loving the poor and giving what you own to those who have nothing. About loving your enemies and about caring for your neighbour the same as yourself. About sharing and selling and eating together and poverty and hospitality and generosity... and for maybe the first time in my life, I'm realising that Jesus meant what he said.
It wasn't symbolic or meant for the disciples only or for an elite group of believers.
This is meant for everybody.
And when I believe this I can no longer be okay with my life.
I tried to go to sleep last night but I ended up on my knees long past midnight crying to Jesus because there is this tension beating in my heart, a holy dissatisfaction with my individualistic, sheltered life of consumption. It's time to be teachable, willing and interruptible.
Things are going to change.
For the past couple of years there has been two themes that God keeps resurfacing in my life. Authentic community and radical simplicity.
And now I'm going to take those two themes and marry them with the beautiful mess that comes with believing the gospel might actually be for real and jump head first and eyes closed into a life experiment in both of them.
I don't know what this will look like and I'll probably make some choices that my family and most of my friends will disapprove of, label as extreme or will pass off as being "just a phase she's going through".
That's okay.
I get it. I probably would have said those same things to myself a little while ago...
Why do I want to throw myself into this messy embrace of community and simplicity?
- Jesus did it.
- This is my attempt at rebellion against an individualistic consumer culture that is destroying our nation and stealing what is precious.
- Because I believe in the value of knowing people on a deep level and doing life with them rather than alongside them.
- Because I can no longer look at the immense inequality in this world and be okay with having more than I need.
- Because the church was born with community and vulnerability and simplicity and togetherness. Over the years she's been deceived about what's important, just like the rest of the world, but now it's time to gently begin leading her back to her roots.
Month 1= Minimising my possessions
Month 2 = Eating like the rest of the world
Month 3 = Talking to Strangers
Month 4 = Quitting cyber communication and practicing it in real time
Month 5 = Serving the Dunedin community
Month 6 = Knowing my neighbours
Month 7 = Intentionally creating quality time
I don't know what it will look like... I have no expectations really. I know it will be hard sometimes and beautiful other times and sometimes both at once. I am hopeful and willing to re learn everything I thought I knew about these subjects, I want to approach all of this with a teachable, humble heart and I know that God will be gentle with me, because He always is.
All I know is that there's been underground work going on in me for sometime, and now it has all come together in a holy mess and I am unwilling to continue to live in agreement to this culture of consumption. We consume resources, food, time, space and each other with a violence that cannot continue... I have no idea what this will be like, but it starts today.
At the end of this month I will write a post about what I learned and felt and achieved through this experiment of giving away my possessions. If anybody reads this and is also feeling the same tension in their own life and wants to embark on this journey with me... I would love more than anything to not be doing this by myself. Because if I'm honest with you, I'm scared.
Lord, let it begin.
Friday, 26 September 2014
Don't despise the secret place.
This post is a little longer than usual, but I encourage you to read through till the end, because it contains lessons hidden in the Exodus wilderness that has huge relevance for today!
This story is found in Exodus 2-19, definitely worth reading, but the general storyline goes something like this...
The Israelite people were living in Egypt and the Egyptians became scared of their power so they made them slaves for 400 years. Entering onto the scene is Moses who is saved from the plan to slaughter all the baby Israelite boys and grows up in the palace of the Pharaohs. When he grows up he visits his Israelite relatives and witnesses an Egyptian beating one of them so he kills the man and hides his body. When he comes back the next day, he realises he was seen and not approved of and has to escape. Moses leaves the city and hides in the wilderness of Midian where he meets his wife and works for many years as a shepherd for his father in law. All hopes of anything great for his life probably died out there under the hot sun and long days but one day he is tending the sheep and finds himself in front of a strange bush that is on fire but not burning up... From here God gives him the mission to rescue the Israelite people from their slavery and lead them out of Egypt to the promised land. God goes with him and after some dramatic events in the city, the Israelite people do a hurried mass exodus out into the wilderness and Moses leads them to the mountain of God where He meets them there. (That's the general idea but its an epic story and you should read it!)
But what I love about this story...
Chapter 3, vs 1
"One day Moses was tending the flock of his father in law...He led the flock far into the wilderness and came to Sinai, the mountain of God. There the Lord appeared to him"
Earlier on in Moses life, he had tried to act on behalf of the Israelites, he was fired up and angry at their treatment... But even though he was in a powerful position, living in the palace and youthful, full of energy, God knew that Moses' character wasn't up to the task of leading a nation out of slavery. So God removed him from the public eye, he worked tending anther mans sheep in the wilderness. No one knew him, no one praised his work and he had nothing to prove to anyone.
But while he was removed from the glory and action, this humbling process was perfectly preparing him for the task ahead.
The verse written above is the exact parallel of what God would ask him to do next!
He was tending the flock of his father in law, he led the flock into the wilderness and came to Sinai, the mountain of God. There the Lord appeared to him.
The mission God would give him was this:
He would lead his Fathers flock of people through the wilderness and came to Sinai, the mountain of God. There the Lord appeared to them.
Wow! While Moses was doing everyday life, tending sheep and living under the authority of another, while his dreams of grandeur had probably long died, God was in fact putting him in the same places and same route and same task as he was about to ask him to do on a much larger scale!
I believe the lesson in this is so profound...
My friend, don't despise the secret and humble place. Be content to work well in the wilderness, for this is the training ground for the plans of God. Moses would never have been able to carry out the assigned mission without those years of being humbled in the wilderness.
'Do not despise the small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin" (Zechariah 4:10)
"If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones" (Luke 16:10)
This story is found in Exodus 2-19, definitely worth reading, but the general storyline goes something like this...
The Israelite people were living in Egypt and the Egyptians became scared of their power so they made them slaves for 400 years. Entering onto the scene is Moses who is saved from the plan to slaughter all the baby Israelite boys and grows up in the palace of the Pharaohs. When he grows up he visits his Israelite relatives and witnesses an Egyptian beating one of them so he kills the man and hides his body. When he comes back the next day, he realises he was seen and not approved of and has to escape. Moses leaves the city and hides in the wilderness of Midian where he meets his wife and works for many years as a shepherd for his father in law. All hopes of anything great for his life probably died out there under the hot sun and long days but one day he is tending the sheep and finds himself in front of a strange bush that is on fire but not burning up... From here God gives him the mission to rescue the Israelite people from their slavery and lead them out of Egypt to the promised land. God goes with him and after some dramatic events in the city, the Israelite people do a hurried mass exodus out into the wilderness and Moses leads them to the mountain of God where He meets them there. (That's the general idea but its an epic story and you should read it!)
But what I love about this story...
Chapter 3, vs 1
"One day Moses was tending the flock of his father in law...He led the flock far into the wilderness and came to Sinai, the mountain of God. There the Lord appeared to him"
Earlier on in Moses life, he had tried to act on behalf of the Israelites, he was fired up and angry at their treatment... But even though he was in a powerful position, living in the palace and youthful, full of energy, God knew that Moses' character wasn't up to the task of leading a nation out of slavery. So God removed him from the public eye, he worked tending anther mans sheep in the wilderness. No one knew him, no one praised his work and he had nothing to prove to anyone.
But while he was removed from the glory and action, this humbling process was perfectly preparing him for the task ahead.
The verse written above is the exact parallel of what God would ask him to do next!
He was tending the flock of his father in law, he led the flock into the wilderness and came to Sinai, the mountain of God. There the Lord appeared to him.
The mission God would give him was this:
He would lead his Fathers flock of people through the wilderness and came to Sinai, the mountain of God. There the Lord appeared to them.
Wow! While Moses was doing everyday life, tending sheep and living under the authority of another, while his dreams of grandeur had probably long died, God was in fact putting him in the same places and same route and same task as he was about to ask him to do on a much larger scale!
I believe the lesson in this is so profound...
My friend, don't despise the secret and humble place. Be content to work well in the wilderness, for this is the training ground for the plans of God. Moses would never have been able to carry out the assigned mission without those years of being humbled in the wilderness.
'Do not despise the small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin" (Zechariah 4:10)
"If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones" (Luke 16:10)
Wednesday, 17 September 2014
Bucket List Challenge # 3 and 4 - Dress as a vegetable, Hold a really wacky dinner party
So I decided to put two of the more creative challenges together...
Lauren challenged me to dress as a vegetable and Sarah gave me a very specific set of instructions for a crazy dinner party, so I made everyone dress as vegetables and eat their three course dinner with kitchen utensils!
It was a pretty hilarious evening and I was hugely impressed by the commitment shown by the guests!
Here are a few shots from the night, just to prove it happened and tick it off...
Lauren challenged me to dress as a vegetable and Sarah gave me a very specific set of instructions for a crazy dinner party, so I made everyone dress as vegetables and eat their three course dinner with kitchen utensils!
It was a pretty hilarious evening and I was hugely impressed by the commitment shown by the guests!
Here are a few shots from the night, just to prove it happened and tick it off...
Friday, 5 September 2014
Pretty Hurts
Beyoncé has recently performed a master piece, a song that captures and reflects the empty heart cry of our culture... Pretty Hurts.
"Pretty hurts, we shine the light on whatever's worst
Perfection is a disease of a nation, pretty hurts, pretty hurts.
Pretty hurts, we shine the light on whatever's worst,
We try to fix something but you cant fix what you cant see
Its the soul that needs the surgery"
The song speaks of the constant push for perfection, chasing after beauty and affection but never succeeding, about being unsatisfied, always feeling like you're not enough.
If I lose a bit of weight, then I will feel confident...
Once I get some new clothes, then I will be beautiful...
When I get fit then I feel strong...
When I act happy then people will accept me...
You are chasing this feeling of being beautiful, of being strong and accepted, that feeling that is always just out of reach, but close enough to keep the chase going. You see it in other people, they look happy and confident, so if you can be more like them, you'll be able to feel like they do. Decide what you think the world wants to see, shut everything else up inside and just show them the pretty parts...
Friend, I want to tell you a secret. This pursuit you've embarked on has no end, it's a round track you're running on. You will chase skinny and beautiful and accepted forever, but they can't be caught.
The knowledge that you are loved and beautiful is a sacred truth, reserved for those who throw down the baton and quit the race, those who stop pleading the world to give them something the world doesn't even have to offer you, even if she wanted to.
Instead, there is a God who has made you exactly as He wanted you, and he has called you good. He has said you are beautiful, that you are worth everything to Him.
You don't need to change. You don't need to strive anymore.
I believe in a God who loves me as I am and this knowledge, when it reaches deep into my heart, gives me the freedom to stand tall, to make mistakes, to smile and mean it.
And now I can stand on the side lines of that never ending racetrack and call out to those weary and empty runners, telling them I found what they're chasing, that it's right here and they don't need to run anymore.
"Pretty hurts, we shine the light on whatever's worst
Perfection is a disease of a nation, pretty hurts, pretty hurts.
Pretty hurts, we shine the light on whatever's worst,
We try to fix something but you cant fix what you cant see
Its the soul that needs the surgery"
The song speaks of the constant push for perfection, chasing after beauty and affection but never succeeding, about being unsatisfied, always feeling like you're not enough.
If I lose a bit of weight, then I will feel confident...
Once I get some new clothes, then I will be beautiful...
When I get fit then I feel strong...
When I act happy then people will accept me...
You are chasing this feeling of being beautiful, of being strong and accepted, that feeling that is always just out of reach, but close enough to keep the chase going. You see it in other people, they look happy and confident, so if you can be more like them, you'll be able to feel like they do. Decide what you think the world wants to see, shut everything else up inside and just show them the pretty parts...
Friend, I want to tell you a secret. This pursuit you've embarked on has no end, it's a round track you're running on. You will chase skinny and beautiful and accepted forever, but they can't be caught.
The knowledge that you are loved and beautiful is a sacred truth, reserved for those who throw down the baton and quit the race, those who stop pleading the world to give them something the world doesn't even have to offer you, even if she wanted to.
Instead, there is a God who has made you exactly as He wanted you, and he has called you good. He has said you are beautiful, that you are worth everything to Him.
You don't need to change. You don't need to strive anymore.
I believe in a God who loves me as I am and this knowledge, when it reaches deep into my heart, gives me the freedom to stand tall, to make mistakes, to smile and mean it.
And now I can stand on the side lines of that never ending racetrack and call out to those weary and empty runners, telling them I found what they're chasing, that it's right here and they don't need to run anymore.
Wednesday, 16 July 2014
I don't like you.
Scrolling down facebook...
Oh, that person wrote about their trip to Bali - "Like"
Hey there's the photos from my cousins birthday - "Like"
Inspiring quote from a well known author - "Like"
Someone tagged me in a nostalgic photo from high school graduation - "Like"
There is this thing we do on Facebook... We feel some vague interest toward what we see so we click the "like" button, sometimes even before reading the whole thing, then quickly move on to the next thing we "like".
Now, I'm not against Facebook... in fact, I use it regularly to catch up with people and share parts of my life there. But as someone who uses Facebook and who watches what's happening in society, I have two issues with this "like" business.
Firstly, people (especially amongst younger people) are beginning to confuse being liked on Facebook with being liked in real life. Their self worth is depending on how many likes they get on what they post. I frequently see posts such as "50 likes and I'll post a video of me singing" which is really saying, show me that I have worth and then I'll have the confidence to put something up which makes me vulnerable. Or "Like for a Like" which is the routine of me "liking" your post and then you'll write to me telling me something you like about me. This one really makes me sad because it assumes we need someone to tell us they like us before we have the confidence or the motivation to compliment them, but also because the people "liking" these posts are not feeling valued or worthy enough so they are searching for someone to tell them what is good about them. That breaks my heart. I often hear the youth I work with talking about how many "likes" their profile picture or video got and comparing numbers...
Secondly, "liking" something doesn't even mean anything to me when I see that.
I often post photos that I've taken, because I am good at photography and want to share the photos I have the privilege of capturing, mostly with the people who are in the photos in mind, or sometimes to share the beauty of the country we live in. And usually when I post photos, people will "like" them, sometimes people that I would never even usually talk to in real life. And even though I feel glad that you looked at it and appreciated something about that photo... I always wonder, why did you like that? Are you friends with someone in that photo? Do you also like the ocean? Do you appreciate the same simple beauty I do about that daisy? Did you like that photo because you've also travelled there and appreciate how long the hike is?
I want people to share with me why they felt some appreciation or connection with the photo I just posted. But when the same person goes through and "likes" 20 of my photos in the space of 2 minute
s, that does nothing except block my newsfeed and tell me you're flicking through them really really fast.
So I've set myself a challenge and want to challenge you to also try this...
I've decided that I won't like anything else on Facebook unless I'm prepared to also comment about why I like this. Let's make Facebook a tool to honour and uplift and appreciate people.
Give them your love, not just your like.
Oh, that person wrote about their trip to Bali - "Like"
Hey there's the photos from my cousins birthday - "Like"
Inspiring quote from a well known author - "Like"
Someone tagged me in a nostalgic photo from high school graduation - "Like"
There is this thing we do on Facebook... We feel some vague interest toward what we see so we click the "like" button, sometimes even before reading the whole thing, then quickly move on to the next thing we "like".
Now, I'm not against Facebook... in fact, I use it regularly to catch up with people and share parts of my life there. But as someone who uses Facebook and who watches what's happening in society, I have two issues with this "like" business.
Firstly, people (especially amongst younger people) are beginning to confuse being liked on Facebook with being liked in real life. Their self worth is depending on how many likes they get on what they post. I frequently see posts such as "50 likes and I'll post a video of me singing" which is really saying, show me that I have worth and then I'll have the confidence to put something up which makes me vulnerable. Or "Like for a Like" which is the routine of me "liking" your post and then you'll write to me telling me something you like about me. This one really makes me sad because it assumes we need someone to tell us they like us before we have the confidence or the motivation to compliment them, but also because the people "liking" these posts are not feeling valued or worthy enough so they are searching for someone to tell them what is good about them. That breaks my heart. I often hear the youth I work with talking about how many "likes" their profile picture or video got and comparing numbers...
Secondly, "liking" something doesn't even mean anything to me when I see that.
I often post photos that I've taken, because I am good at photography and want to share the photos I have the privilege of capturing, mostly with the people who are in the photos in mind, or sometimes to share the beauty of the country we live in. And usually when I post photos, people will "like" them, sometimes people that I would never even usually talk to in real life. And even though I feel glad that you looked at it and appreciated something about that photo... I always wonder, why did you like that? Are you friends with someone in that photo? Do you also like the ocean? Do you appreciate the same simple beauty I do about that daisy? Did you like that photo because you've also travelled there and appreciate how long the hike is?
I want people to share with me why they felt some appreciation or connection with the photo I just posted. But when the same person goes through and "likes" 20 of my photos in the space of 2 minute
s, that does nothing except block my newsfeed and tell me you're flicking through them really really fast.
So I've set myself a challenge and want to challenge you to also try this...
I've decided that I won't like anything else on Facebook unless I'm prepared to also comment about why I like this. Let's make Facebook a tool to honour and uplift and appreciate people.
Give them your love, not just your like.
Tuesday, 17 June 2014
Bucket List challenge # 2 ... Midwinter Swim. Complete.
Kirsty Foster... Went for the classic but eternal when she assigned my bucket list challenge... Midwinter Swim!
Some friends and I jumped in the harbour a couple of months back and that was painful and not inspiring to do it again. So when I was given this challenge by Kirsty I decided I wasn't going in on my own... So on June 15th, I joined at least 200 other brave souls for the official Dunedin Polar plunge!
Unfortunately my camera was out of battery, but these are some of the official photos from the day.
Some friends and I jumped in the harbour a couple of months back and that was painful and not inspiring to do it again. So when I was given this challenge by Kirsty I decided I wasn't going in on my own... So on June 15th, I joined at least 200 other brave souls for the official Dunedin Polar plunge!
Unfortunately my camera was out of battery, but these are some of the official photos from the day.
As I was standing waiting for the countdown, staring at the grey waves hungrily lapping the cold sand, I was genuinely nervous... But once everyone started sprinting toward the surf and diving headlong into the wintery goodness that is midwinter swimming, adrenaline took over and there was no going back! Big shout out to everyone over 70 who denied their age and did it anyway and those kids too young to realise this is a bad idea and did it anyway because their parents said it would be fun.
When my head went under the water, every self preservation skill I had said to get out as fast as possible, and valuing my life, I did just that! However, there were a large number of people who apparently don't have those same voices of reason and stayed in up to ten minutes!
Thanks Kirsty for the challenge, it was fun and I'm glad we did it!!
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